running a real 5k on thursday
for the first time in like five years…
not a race.
but still, it’s something…
i’m excited to shed this thirty and be healthy again.
now if only i could stop eating everything in sight…
YES.
Well, the point of the gospel, at least from my understanding, is that Jesus died for our sins because the Jews of the time had him nailed him to a cross. God designed it, but that doesn’t mean humans were not at fault. Jesus’s unjustified death atones for our unjustified sins against God. Can you imagine that kind of love? Love that would bring a God down to his own corrupt and disobedient creation and DIE for it. Calvary was designed by God because He loves us too much to see us suffer in our sin and revel ignorantly in our own filth. But, yes, it was people driving the nails into His hands and feet. Therefore, we are still at fault. The beauty of it is that He forgives us in the same act that we condemned Him.
(Source: troubledscientificmind)
working out for an hour at the gym
and doing kenpo x right after…
after going to the gym for 2+ hours last night as well
man, i haven’t felt this good in a really long time
and by good i mean sore
:]
oh my. helen just reminded me i went to the gym for two hours on thursday too…
my life is pretty dang glorious
now if only i weren’t behind in orgo…
losing five pounds since new years and being able to fit in size 24 [!!] jeans again…
rewarding myself with three chocolate muffins for breakfast this morning probably wasn’t a good idea though…
Watch this in full screen oh my god.
THAT WAS SO COOL
Ahh this reminds me of that immersive simulation roller coaster at Universal Studios! They totally need to build this in real life.
BUILD WITH THE SOUNDS. YES.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE A MUSIC NERD TO ENJOY THIS
(Source: danforth)
dinner at blue corn cafe tonight with my mentor
SO GOOD.
also, LOVE HER.
Let your Faith be bigger than your fears.
(Source: jwerksyall)
it’s becoming more obvious every day
that the way my thoughts are organized just won’t do
i’m so used to separating each distinct area of thought… if my brain were a file cabinet, it would have a folder for each course, for each interest, even [regrettably and embarassingly] for God.
out of habit and the want for ease, i’ve found that separating my thoughts thus makes doing well in each aspect simpler… there is no interference from another area of knowledge or speculation caused by the meshing of two categories.
i’ve been trying for the past few months to expand my God folder. or, rather, to remove the physical folder while leaving all the contents in the cabinet… i’m trying to spread my awareness of His presence and my response to every other part of my life. it’s difficult.
and now, i’ve come to realize that it’s not just my God folder that needs expanding.
i guess this really came into my attention towards the end of last semester after talking to upperclassmen on separate occasions. if i am passionate about something, shouldn’t that passion be more expansive than only being present when i am discussing x or y? it doesn’t make sense that i should live my life differently when i am not in the immediate vicinity of these thoughts. rather, shouldn’t i always be in immediate vicinity of these thoughts?
reconciling my interest in and resolutions concerning gender/sexuality and equality with scripture, understanding how magic and pantheism contributed to my faith, connecting my relationship with God with my love for a long hard work out, balancing how i speak to/about God with rationality/science when explaining the Gospel, etc.
why is it so difficult?
it’s even hard for me to try to connect math and physics and chemistry to help form a better understanding of all three.
but, i know i need to. how can i truly love something or care passionately without expressing love and care constantly in the way that i live, i act, i speak… in the way that i am?
blahh. /streamofconsciousness_timeforclass
my roommate is lovely and classy.
posting for the commentary… so relevant.
I’m so sick and tired of seeing this picture. Normally when I see images like this (daily on my Facebook feed, actually), I blow them off, because I know that thin is the industry standard and I’m lucky blah blah blah. But people who would tell me to quit complaining would probably be incredibly surprised to know what kind of criticism I receive on a regular basis for being somewhere between Kiera and Kirsten on this scale. When I worked at Godiva, I usually got multiple comments every day about how I should “eat more chocolate,” “probably couldn’t help them out because I looked like I never ate chocolate,” etcetera. Almost invariably these comments were delivered in a mocking or plainly offensive tone.
Every time I see this picture posted, it’s usually accompanied with a comment about how “natural” beauty is no longer valued. Yet people forget what types of self-mutilation women of earlier eras went through to look the way they did: corsets, skin bleaching, hair bleaching (before it was as perfected as it is today), and in the case of Rita Hayworth, electrocution of her hairline. What people fail to realize is that setting any standard of beauty for women is incredibly detrimental to our esteem. Throughout history, the standards have changed, but the stuff we put our bodies through hasn’t.
Furthermore, some women just do naturally look like Kiera Knightley or Kirsten Dunst. I will NEVER naturally look like Marilyn Monroe. No matter how much weight I gain or how much I eat, I will NEVER have curves. My waist-hip ratio is TERRIBLE. I am just not cut out to be a curvaceous woman. And telling me that I’m less “hot” because of it is counter-productive to banishing any sort of societal issues related to women’s esteem. Period.
Furthermore, shaming women for eating disorders (which arguably some of the women on the top may have) is also just plain disgusting. Although the image doesn’t necessarily imply this, I’ve seen a swarm of ed-shaming comments surrounding this photo every time it’s posted on Facebook so I feel the need to address it. Honestly, it’s pictures like this that exacerbate eating disorders in women. Often eating disorders are a pursuit of perfection more than a pursuit of thinness, but the idea of “perfection” becomes so distorted beyond reason that a woman forgets what “perfection” means to her, and so extreme thinness and dysmorphia are the only lasting result. Furthermore, this type of behavior is deadly, so when people say thin women should “get over” negative comments, I cannot believe they would be so insensitive.
I can understand why, from a standpoint of historical criticism, people would want to analyze standards of beauty and why they have evolved over time, but that is NOT what this image does. It is far too provoking and shaming, and in the end, it achieves exactly the opposite of what it sets out to do. Rather than making women feel better about their bodies, it only narrows the definition (notice how the women on the bottom are all still thin) of beauty. So um… let’s quit passing this around, okay?
love the commentary.
after going running today…
why is it that my arms are sore and my legs are not…
i don’t understand…
Kevin: is it ____ed up?
I guess all my life i hated when people said i was so “asian” since i wanted to be an individual… that i purposely tried to stray away from it, trying to brush off stereotypes, but at the same time brushing off the Asian traditions my parents hold, accidentally.
America is such a cute little…
ramble:
i never really had many asian friends growing up. for some reason, at duke ~90% of my friends are asian. i never really felt “asian” because i wasn’t ever the straight a student, the tennis player, the amazing pianist or violinist or chess player. my teachers never liked me and i even though i enjoyed school, i found it difficult and never did as well as i was “expected” to. i chose swimming as my sport - definitely a “white” sport. i preferred partying and shopping to studying and concentrating on academics. yet, i was always proud that, at least on the outside, i was and am definitely asian. i think, as my mom puts it, it’s important to realize that no matter how much we assimilate into “american-ism” and no matter how “white-washed” we become, we are still asian - in our appearance, in our capabilities, in our history, and in our blood. i think that’s important. i am an asian american and proud that i can easily be recognized as such. it wasn’t until i came to duke that i realized that not only did i look asian, but that really my culture means so so so much to me. the foods that i like best, the cultural values i hold, the pride i have in my ethnic history, etc. these all reflect what i am at my core. an asian american. i’ve realized that even though i can’t write the characters in my native language much better than a 2nd grader, and even though i speak with a more and more obvious accent, that doesn’t take away from my asian american-ness. sure, i’ve grown up in america and am a citizen of the united states. that doesn’t mean i’m not asian as well. i’ve made up my mind that my children will learn chinese. they will be able to speak, read, and write at least as well as me. because i think that it really will be a pity if i can’t do better. on the outside, they will be labelled as asian. if they can’t connect that with who they are inside … i am afraid of compromising their identity.
basically…
i love my asian american-ness. oftentimes i feel stuck in the middle with nowhere to belong. but the beautiful thing is that i always know that in reality i am both fully asian and fully american. i love the two sides of my identity - the two cultures, two ethnicities, to histories, to traditions. i wouldn’t have it any other way.
feels good to be working out, again.
:]
blah. decided to try working out again before being completely better…
terrible awful headache, now.
oh well.
shower. reading. bed.
